Jaine Austen mysteries
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Smarmy personals ads. Daring declarations of love. Freelance writer Jaine Austen has penned them all. But no one needs her help more than geeky, gawky Howard Murdoch. His request is simple enough: a letter proclaiming his undying love for Stacy Lawrence, a gorgeous aerobics instructor. The fact that he's never actually met the woman gives Jaine pause-yet she soon overcomes her misgivings, and the unlikely Romeo lands a date! But his triumph is short-lived....
2) Last writes
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Jaine still hasn't found a good man - or a way to keep all those sugary snacks from going straight to her hips. But - with a little help from her best friend Kandi - she's finally landed a gig as a sitcom writer! True, Muffy 'n Me (aka "Bewitched with Tits") isn't going to win any Emmys. And her office at Miracle Studios needs a little sprucing up, and a few dozen rat traps. But it sure beats writing boring brochures and bad resumes, so Jaine's not...
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A gal with a serious Ben & Jerry's habit can't afford to be too picky about employment opportunities. So when Beverly Hills socialite SueEllen Kingsley offers freelance writer Jaine Austen megabucks to ghostwrite a book of hostess tips, it's time to sharpen the #2s.
But everything short circuits when Jaine finds SueEllen floating face down in her tub, fried by her own blow dryer. The primary suspect: Heidi, SueEllen's stepdaughter, whose account...
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If clothes make the man, then what do Jaine Austen's elastic-waist pants and T-shirts make her? A fashion nightmare, according to her neighbor, Lance. She doesn't expect Lance-who works in the designer shoe department at Nieman Marcus-to understand... which is how she ends up visiting his favorite boutique, Passions. While the couture is definitely not for Jaine, the staff's gossip is. Tiny orange-haired clerk Becky starts complaining about her coworker...
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On the frontlines of the battle of the bulge, otherwise known as trying on bathing suits in the communal dressing room at Loehmann's, freelance writer Jaine Austen makes a new friend - a wannabe actress named Pam - and gets a new job: sprucing up Pam's bare-bones resume. Their feeling of connection is mutual, so Pam invites Jaine to join The PMS Club - a women's support group that meets once a week over guacamole and margaritas.
But joining the club...
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When writer-for-hire Jaine Austen signs on to script vows for the ultimate Bridezilla, "I do's" soon become "I wish I hadn't's" - and curtains for the bride spell a veil of woes for Jaine...
Jaine's accepted her share of lame gigs to pay the bills, but rewriting Shakespeare's got to be an all-time low. The fiasco begins with a call from Jaine's high-school nemesis, uber-rich uber-witch Patti Devane. It seems Patti will soon be sashaying down the...
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Wordsmith Jaine Austen's ship has finally come in. Her new teaching gig on a fancy cruise line nabs her a free vacation - and access to a twenty-four-hour buffet! But sooner than you can say "bon voyage," Jaine's all-expenses-paid trip to the Mexican Riviera seems destined to be a wreck...
Things are already off to a rocky start when Jaine discovers a stowaway amidst her luggage - her persnickety cat Prozac. Jaine's sinking sensation grows stronger...
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Without a job or a date in sight, freelance writer Jaine Austen is equally out of luck in finance and romance. So when her friend Lance offers to treat her to brunch at the Four Seasons, Jaine leaps at the invite. They've barely made it through the menu when Lance spots his friend Bunny, who is the new trophy wife of mattress maven Marvin Cooper.
When Bunny generously offers Jaine a gig writing Marv's new advertising campaign, Jaine accepts the job,...
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When freelance writer Jaine Austen is surprised with an über-luxe spa getaway, she and her feline pal Prozac are eager to hit the road and bask in a week of pampering and pedicures. But what she gets is a California fat farm in disguise, complete with celery-juice cocktails, humiliating weigh-ins, and a zero-tolerance position on carbs.
Among her bulge-battling companions is Mallory Francis, a B-list movie star with a knack for making frenemies....
12) Killing Cupid
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Love is in the air as freelance writer Jaine Austen begins a new job at the Dates of Joy matchmaking service--but between juggling her boss's demands, deflecting the advances of an eccentric suitor, and tracking down a calculating killer, she hardly has time to think about romance.
13) Death by tiara
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"When she is hired to write lyrics for a contestant in the talent competition for the Miss Teen Queen America pageant, freelance writer Jaine Austen is plunged into a glittering nightmare of vicious stage moms, exacting judges and trash-talking teens after a catfight turns deadly"--
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The future is looking bright for freelance writer Jaine Austen. She's signed up for a new job, she's looking forward to a tropical vacation, and her cat Prozac is slated to star in a major commercial. But when the claws come out behind the scenes, Jaine worries that murder might be the only thing to meow about. . . .
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Jaine's life has been a royal pain since she started penning dialogue for Some Day My Prince Will Come - a cheesy dating show that features bachelorettes competing for the heart of Spencer Dalworth VII, a very distant heir to the British throne. As if fending off golf ball-sized bugs on a sweltering island wasn't tough enough, Jaine must test her patience against an irritable production crew and fierce contestants who will do anything to get their...
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After a dry spell, freelance writer Jaine Austen's life is suddenly full of romance. For one thing, she's reconnected with her ex-though her cat, Prozac, isn't happy about it. And Jaine's also got a new ghostwriting gig, working on a steamy novel called Fifty Shades of Turquoise . . .
Daisy Kincaid is in her sixties and heiress to a fortune. Now she wants to make a name for herself as a romance author . . . with a little help from Jaine, that is....
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"Uber-stylist Bebe Braddock plans to juice up her Instagram feed, and thinks Jaine would make a perfect "Before & After" model. At Lance's insistence Jaine is ushered into Bebe's sprawling Brentwood spread to await her transformation. Yet, while the surroundings are glamorous, the atmosphere is toxic as Bebe bullies her team of assistants, and even her husband, into obeying her every whim. Having earned the wrath of everyone in her orbit, few are...